Having three children who could each win an Oscar for the role of irritating sibling my patience has not grown. I frequently find myself responding to my kids with words that might be just fine but with a tone that definitely suggests annoyance or impatience.
So after a particularly trying day you can usually find me in bed praying for patience and vowing that the next day will be better. I will deal with my children (at home and at school) with patience and love.
Sometimes I look for inspiration in books. There are a lot of parenting books out there that can give you good advice. But sometimes I find the most inspiration in novels or movies.
I came across this movie, The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio, at my local library several years ago. The lovely Julianne Moore is in it so I picked it up and I'm so glad I did. Based on a book by the same name it follows Evelyn Ryan, a mother of 10 who keeps her family from poverty by her writing skills in entering contests and winning prizes. Married to an alcoholic, Evelyn's choices in the 1950s were limited to say the least.
In the movie, Evelyn endures difficulties that most of us do not experience today. Back in the time when most women deferred to men and did not work out of the home, Evelyn's life was a real challenge. But you see her, time and time again treating her children with extreme love and patience.
One scene that stands out the most to me was one where Evelyn was very frazzled, the baby was crying, the doorbell was ringing and the milkman was standing at the door demanding money that she did not have. Just then one of her daughters walks in holding the baby and had made a huge mess with diaper cream and baby powder over everything. Evelyn turns to help, delaying the milkman just a moment. Meanwhile the postman comes and in one of the letters is a few dollars from winning a writing contest. It is just enough to pay the milkman.
Later, after an extensive clean up the daughter is apologizing. And Evelyn, being as sweet as she can be tells her that she knows she was just trying to help. And in fact she was a big help. If she didn't delay the milkman, the postman would have just missed him and she would not have been able to get the money to get the milk they needed. She thanks her sincerely. She built her daughter up for trying to help instead of tearing her down for making a mess.
Seeing a mother be so gracious and loving in the midst of chaos and poverty greater than anything I've had to endure is humbling. Yes, I know it is a movie, but the book was written by Evelyn's daughter, Terry Ryan and it is a true account.
Even if you happen to have all the patience that I lack, if you have a chance, check out The Prize Winner from Defiance Ohio. It is a lovely movie that I hope will inspire you as much as it did me.
Thanks for stopping by!
Melissa
